you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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