Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize