Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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