no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize