Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Randomize
