ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Are we still banned from the library?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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