apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
