my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
