I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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