also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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