it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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