dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
