Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
