my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
