I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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