Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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