Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
