I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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