Need sex. Gaining weight.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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