We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
