btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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