im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize