Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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