whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
