also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
