Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
