Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
