How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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