my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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