I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
