she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
