Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
