come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he thought i was a dude.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
