we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
