yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
