So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize