there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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