her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
