So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
