oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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