The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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