The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
