Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize