So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
