guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
