you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
