i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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