Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
