I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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