so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.