if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?