There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize