Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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