i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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