i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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