Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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