Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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