She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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