Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
